Where Babies Really Come From

Want to know where babies really come from? This isn’t about the bedtime olympics or the migration of your micro-salmon up the fallopian river. This is about about how babies are built.

We all know that a baby comes from cells that multiply and divide (which, mathematically, should produce net 0 increase in babies) and how the baby matures during the trimesters in the womb, but where does the matter come from to make a baby’s body?

Imagine a young woman, about 25 years of age. She’s 5’6″, 135 lb and not pregnant. After some late-night antics with her young hubby and nine months of gestation, she’s now a whopping 160 lbs, and about 8 lbs of that is baby. What was that baby made from? There’s only one possibility, and it’s the one way that we take matter into our bodies: food.

Babies are made of food.

When a woman gets pregnant, her body is transformed into a factory which takes in raw materials, such as cheese, bread, Doritos and ice cream, and constructs a baby from those materials. It is likely that you could eat only pizza while pregnant and still produce a marginally healthy baby. If you did, then that baby would be made entirely out of pizza.

So all you pregnant or soon-to-be pregnant ladies should remember that your baby is what you eat… err, your baby is made from what you eat.