Seven simple ways to make the world more efficient:
1. Switch all clocks to twenty-four-hour time.
2. Bring about overdue reform to the alphabet. Letters which do not produce a unique sound, such as c, x and q will be fired. A close eye will be kept on j, y and z.
3. Stopputtingspacesbetweenwordswhentyping. Studiesshowthatthisincreasestypingspeedbyfifteenpercent.
4. Change to the metric system. No one knows how many pecks are in a bushel.
5. Cars will be regulated to near-extinction. Each vehicle may only produce a horsepower-to-kilogram ratio which renders the act of driving unexciting. A sedan with a speedometer that can reach 260 km/h is about as helpful as a speaker that can deafen its listeners or a television that can blind its viewers.
6. Place a moratorium on treadmills pending further investigation into aimless exertion of energy.
7. Ban blogs. They are responsible for countless hours wasted by posting semi-useless information.