The Advance

Our bodies are always changing. We are growing, aging, healing, rotting, and dying all the time. Thanks to our good friend, mortality, we are all destined to endure the debilitating effects of age. One area of great concern is our hair. As we age, our hair loses strength, color, gloss and curl. Though all of us may worry about these changes, males are haunted by an additional effect: hair loss.

Many men feel emasculated and vulnerable when their hairline begins its recession. To avert this catastrophe, men will go to great length, including surgery or the wearing of fine hats. There are few things more pathetic than a grown man distraught and insecure because of an unavoidable genetic feature. Perhaps they should be thankful that their hairline is receding, not advancing.


Hair is an important part of our identity; our hair makes us feel beautiful, confident and cool. Whether it’s braided, dyed, spiked, straightened, shaved or grown down to the ankles, hair is one of two primary outward social identifiers, the other being clothing. The style with which we wear our hair can surely solicit ridicule from certain groups, or praise from others.

Our locks can also open the door to success. A short, clean haircut says, “I’m ready for a promotion,” while a greasy, unkempt ponytail ensures unemployment. It is said that even the color of our hair can send signals about our lifestyle and character. Blondes, for example, are commonly known to be hyperactive, overbearing and obnoxious, while brunettes are intelligent, professional and socially responsible.

Hair can be sexy, too. A woman with dark, luscious curls flowing down her shoulders may draw many men’s eyes her way. But, for all the power, beauty and strength that our hair can project, it is all destroyed once detached from our scalp.

When two lovers share an intimate moment, they may gently caress each other’s hair, but only a disturbed individual would caress that hair once it is removed from the head. Likewise, many of us try to infuse our hair with an exotic aroma to attract the opposite sex, but smelling some hair that isn’t attached to a person is not acceptable. Once our the crop of our crown is cut it transforms into trash, filthy as any other unwanted body matter. This phenomenon also occurs with finger and toenails, but they are less often admired or caressed than our hair.

The only way that cut hair may be restored is by making a wig, but wigs made from other people’s hair are still kinda gross.